Pages

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sleep is overrated, right?

Ok, so the hubby is out of town this week. He crawled from our warm cozy bed at 5:30 Monday morning to get on a plane and fly to fabulous CANADA! Well, Monday night I go to bed at the very reasonable hour of midnight, and at 3:30 I’m still awake. AWESOME!
I get up at 7:30, hustle Dragon outta bed and off to school. Thankfully Rockstar decided he wanted to watch Voltron all morning, so I got to snooze off an on until noon. The downside to this little blessing is that when midnight rolled around last night, I was wide awake. Ugh.
At 3:30 I finally turned off the tv, and laid there in the dark for at least an hour. I’m totally batting a thousand in the sleep department. So, today I’m attempting to stay awake instead of napping.
Theoretically I should be able to sleep tonight. In actuality I’m probably going to spend all day as a zombie, end up feeding the kids dog food for dinner and crash at 6pm. This means I’ll be up at like 2am and unable to return to dreamland. Starting the whole vicious cycle over again.
Sleep, why do you torture me so? Canada, send my hubby back, pleeeeease!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Oh, Canada

You've stolen my hubby.  Please send him back soon.  Thursday can't come soon enough.  Please hurry, Mommy's sanity depends on him being here.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Craftiness

I would first like to say that my level of craftiness is that of a one eyed toddler with a hook for a hand and an inner ear infection. I try lots of things. Ever since I picked up my first pair of scissors I've loved to try creating things with paper and glue and bits of things. It never turns out like the picture on the box. And the image in my mind is always so much cooler than I can produce. But I enjoy it anyway.
Since taking an interest in homesteading my craft interest have turned to the practical. I took up crocheting and am about halfway through an 8-bit Mario afghan made from granny squares (instructions originally found
Today was "Let's clean your room and see what crawls out from under your bed to eat us" Day. The boys and I set out to get their room in better order. It looked like a laundry basket and a toy box had gone to war and neither one was victorious. 30 minutes in and half of the room is done, with the dirty laundry removed, the toys in containers and the trash picked up. This cleanup reminded me that the carpet in their room had to be removed due to water and we've not replaced it. They have a concrete floor. Not cool. So, I did a little Google-fu and discovered rag rugs.
Rag rugs are an old method for crafting a rug from fabric leftovers. You take strips of fabric and either braid, weave or crochet (or knit) them together into the shape you desire. As it turns out I have plenty of clothes that don't fit either kiddo and that are in no shape to pass along, plus a fair amount of fabric in my craft bin that I can use up. So, pretty soon I'll have a half made braided rag rug to put next to my half crocheted afghan!
here . and warning, if you love crafty things and already have way too many projects and ideas, don't go there. Instructables is amazing!) I'd probably be farther along, but that's a LOT of squares, and 2 boys just don't allow for that much time sitting still and focusing on something other than them.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The simple things

Today was a day of little discoveries.
I discovered that
  1. All the home cooking I’ve been doing has made boxed dinners taste gross. I wonder if there was ever a time Hamburger Helper truly tasted good or if I just didn’t know any better.
  2. It may not be wise to let the 8 year old pick what you have for dinner haha!
  3. I really missed fall. The breeze today was fabulous and the sky was lovely.
  4. I am terrible at sticking to a budget. (this was more of a RE-discovery)
  5. Beef hamburgers are soo yummy. I enjoy turkey burgers, but man did I miss beef.
  6. A Caramelicious Espresso Smoothie from Scooters relaxes you after a trip to the grocery store with 2 kids and a husband better than anything in the world can
  7. 75 cent full size boxes of cereal are one of the most amazing things in the entire world
  8. I actually *CAN* do the entire level 1 program on my exercise bike. 30 full minutes. Go ME!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Tomorrow's forecast

Looking like a great day tomorrow, espresso and cocoa pebbles for breakfast followed by visiting my mother-in-law (who is thankfully a wonderful woman). Maybe I'll get the hubby to take me to a flea market or something. In the market for a console table for our living room.
The weather has finally started taking a cooler turn. Of course, this is the Midwest, it could suddenly decide to be 90 for the next month. Wouldn't be odd at all.
Time to start thinking of Halloween. Goblins and ghouls and the smell of crisp fall leaves. Soon the kids will be begging for costumes and the decorations will have to go up. Time to break out the cinnamon coffee and start baking muffins and biscotti. Time to grab the plastic bins and start replacing our tank tops with sweaters and light jackets and then take some time to just enjoy the change of seasons and savor it all.
And then curse it for all the laundry its going to create.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Feeling Old

I looked at my calendar today and realized that 8 days from now, I turn *gasp* THIRTY.  <cue horror movie music>  Where in the world does the time go?  I mean, I don't remember any memo saying it was  time to get old!  Most days I still feel like that optimistic teenager with the perky breasts.  Only with more common sense.  And not so perky breasts. 

Well, if I'm going to feel old, I figured I'd at least remind myself of why its all ok.  So here's two of my favorite pictures of my kiddos.  They're 4 and 8 now and these pictures just make me sigh and wish for more little ones.

This is Dragon at less than a month old. I just love the look and his arms. 
          "Ya wanna fight about it?"


















And this, this is my baby, Rockstar.

               "Om, nom nom"

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Special Needs

Two simple innocuous words when used individually. Special conveys so many positive things, and everyone has needs. Put them together however, and you have the makings of something every parent dreads.
Every parent spends their pregnancy saying "as long as the baby is healthy". We all assume things will be fine. That our children will be born with the pain and stress that goes with it, but in the end the happy healthy baby will be placed in our arms. For our family, it hasn't been quite the journey we'd expected.
When our 8 year old son, Dragon (names changed to protect the innocent), was born it was with a fury and swiftness only a dragon could possess. The hospital told me it wasn't labor, it was too soon. Well, Dragon showed them. They'd barely gotten the monitor on me when my water broke, and the words "No fetal heart tones" left the mouth of the nurse. It was like the world stopped spinning. It was the most terrifying moment in my entire life. No. Fetal. Heart. Tones. There was a rush of medical discussion and 18 minutes after arriving at the hospital, our son arrived. An emergency C-section dragging him into this world.
My husband sat in a hallway while they put me under, cut me open and brought our firstborn into the world. He sat, alone and scared in a quiet hallway while his worst nightmare unfolded around him.
10 fingers, 10 toes. No signs of what had gone wrong, our little man proved to us that he was a fighter. He had no intentions of letting his dramatic delivery overshadow his presence. He was a demanding baby. Thrashing when I tried to breastfeed him, or hold him too tightly or too much. He simply wanted to be. He loved anything that had music (and still does to this day) but, the touch of another was something he just didn't desire. It was frustrating at times, but we assumed it was just his personality. After all, he was our first and what did we really know about this little alien creature in our midst?
As a toddler, he insisted on choosing when he was held or cuddled. If he let you into his world to play with him, you were the luckiest soul on earth. And when we attempted to give him his first time out, there was an explosion like we'd never seen before. Thrashing, and screaming. It was surreal. This same sort of behavior continued, with seemingly random things triggering what we assumed were just tantrums.

When he began school, we became very aware that our son wasn't quite the normal child we had thought him to be. Intellectually he was off their charts. He could read better than any of the kids in his class, and he picked up math concepts with minimal explanation. But when it came to social situations, he was clueless. He seemed to be in his own world. Sometimes allowing other children to join in play, but only under his rules and limits. He was a playground dictator, trying to control every detail of anything that he was involved in.
Eventually he began having to spend time in the special education room. He was simply too disruptive in the regular classroom. Bookshelves would be emptied, desks overturned, pictures torn from the walls. As parents we were ashamed, embarrassed. Surely this was our own fault. At the advisement of the Special Education teacher, we took Dragon in to be evaluated by a child psychologist.
4 weeks of visits and evaluations, therapy and chats. And the psychologist was able to put a name on all the struggle we'd been having. We sat quietly as she explained charts and scales and numbers. She described normal reactions and interactions and where our child fell in those things. And then she gave us her diagnosis the two words that have redefined our family:

Asperger's Syndrome

Is this thing on?

I've never seen myself as the blogging type.  With kids and a husband and a house that requires my attention, I simply don't have the time.  But lately, well, I've needed a place to let my thoughts out.  Laying awake at night letting my mind race just isn't going to cut it anymore.  So, here we are.  Or here I am, anyway.

I don't know if anyone else will care what I have to say, but sometimes things just need to be said.  So this place will be my pressure release.  With 2 boys and a husband who travels for work, I definately need one.  Hopefully I can brighten someone's day or make another Mom out there feel a little less alone.  If nothign else, this is cheaper than therapy, right?